The Agilian Gods

• Ag: King of the Agilian gods.
• Bor: The god of retrospective.
• Suffr: The god of planning and ruler of Agile's Hell. If you're a bad hipster and don't do Agile correctly you end up in Eternal Planning and will be tortured for eternity.
• Rogbi: The god of scrum.
• Jason: The god of sprints. Also known for creating JSON.
• Pulp: The god of post-it notes.
• Git: This is the trickster god that impedes forward progress by trashing your code through simple acts, for example letting you unknowingly pull from a rebased repository without the --rebase option.
• The Yaml: A mystical Agilian creature. Despite its extreme ugliness, disgusting smell, and the fact that it shits all over the house, some people still keep them as pets. Warning: The Yaml is pictured futher down on this page.

An artist's depiction of Ag, the King Of The Agile Gods as he wields The Post-It Note Of A Million Points. It is said that only Ag has the strength to pick up this card. There has been much controversy on how to pronounce Ag's name... is the "g" like in good or like in George. The "g" in Ag's name is actually pronounced like the "g" in GIF.

Here's a photo of Ag's sister Bor. Not only is Bor Ag's sister, but she's also Ag's wife. Yes, Agile is pretty messed up. Bor was crucial in ending the Great Kanban War by casting a sleep spell on the Kanbanbonian army and smiting everyone including the great General Kan himself.

This is Suffr, who oddly kind of resembles the devil. Suffr is the immortal enemy of Jason (the god of sprints) and uses godly powers to make planning meetings last for hours on end so the actual Agilian sprint never starts and no real work gets done. This portrait was sold at an auction in North Dakota for 300,000 3 point Post-It notes.

Rogbi, the god of scrums, is a very influential god. So influential that there is a sport roughly named after him using a "ball" in the shape of his head. Despite the fact that his head isn't a circle, the scrum must be conducted in a perfect circle.

This is Jason with his magical curly brace hat and Agilian lyer made out of a square brace. Jason has the power to store data in his hat and shoot it out at his enemies.

Here's a 100 year old drawing of Pulp. In summer time, Pulp grows thousands of Post-It notes glazed at the top with thick, sticky sap from his powerful trunk. Legend has it that one summer only one Post-It note grew. Absorbing all the power of Pulp, this became The Post-It Note Of A Million Points.

This is Git, the incestual son of Ag and Bor. Despite the fact that Git's main job in life is to store source code, Git is a trickster with very confusing behavior. Only a fool trusts Git.

Here is The Yaml, which is not actually an Agile god, but a digusting looking and smelling mystical creature with a face that looks quite similar to a baboon's ass. Okay, fine.. it is a baboon's ass.